I've been thinking about marriage these days - more than I have in a while. With so many marriages in turmoil, it makes me think about mine just so much more.
If you know me, you know that Lawrence and I have had struggles in our almost 18 year relationship. Everyone has struggles in a marriage. If you haven't, then you need to sit and think about that.
Anyway, back to Lawrence and I. We've had some serious struggles. There have been times that I have wanted to leave. I've told others I was going to leave, I've told Lawrence I was going to leave. I know he has had times where he was fed up with me. But even with everything that has happened in these years, we've stayed together.
Most couples would break up. Most people - if I told everyone what we've gone through (no, we're not physically harming each other) - would call us both stupid for staying together. We are that man and that woman that you whisper to your friends about... "Giiiiiirrrrrlllll, I don't EVEN know why they still together! Did you hear what he/she did to him/her? If that was my man/woman, I woulda been left." *insert random neck roll and teeth smack wherever you see fit*
I can't really speak for Lawrence, but you want to know why I stay? Love. True love. God has given me my life partner, and I have learned to treasure that. It's not loyalty, it's not stupidity, it's not selfishness. It's not even the fact that neither of us believe in divorce. It's just love.What I feel for Lawrence is something I don't think I'll feel for any other person.
I think it takes more strength to stay than it does to give up and go. Not that I don't understand others when they have to end a relationship - especially if it's a toxic one - but it really says something about the love you feel when you can forgive and continue to love each other as much as you did the day you fell in love. If you know our story, you know Lawrence and I fell in love hard and fast. So fast it scared us. But now that we're old, married, and with kids, it still scares me how much I'm in love with this man.
There. I needed to get that off my chest. I'm praying for marriages every day, and I hope you pray for ours.
Until next time!
